Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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Lifestyle Blogger/Content Creator located in Louisiana nestled at the top of the boot 

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What Makes a Woman Beautiful, and How Do We Start Believing that We are (If We Don’t)?

Have you ever asked the question, “what makes a woman beautiful?” You might think to yourself, “Well, I don’t have to. Every media outlet seems to know and tells us every day.”  So many of us grew up believing beauty goes hand in hand with appearance even though we often say out loud that inner […]

Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you ever asked the question, “what makes a woman beautiful?” You might think to yourself, “Well, I don’t have to. Every media outlet seems to know and tells us every day.” 

So many of us grew up believing beauty goes hand in hand with appearance even though we often say out loud that inner beauty is what matters.

But, appearance is only one facet of beauty. 

I can think a flower is beautiful because of its bright, full blooms, but I can also think it’s beautiful because of its aroma. Or because it showed up on a day when I really needed it and its presence is beautiful in the way it uplifted my mood. 

Do you see what I mean? 

Every one of us—men included—can agree that a beautiful appearance is only a measure of what makes a woman beautiful. 

Think of a girlfriend you absolutely love to be around—someone who makes life beautiful.

Is she just beautiful in appearance? 

Doubtful. 

You likely have a blast with her and laugh hysterically. She probably listens well and asks questions that make you feel heard and understood. She likely “gets you” in a way no one else does.

Most of us struggle to believe that we’re beautiful in appearance. Psychologists have even written books about how if someone tells us we’re beautiful and we don’t believe it, it actually does more harm than good because our mind begins to dwell on all of the ways we’re not beautiful and begin to pick ourselves apart. 

One psychologist in particular thinks the statement, “you’re beautiful” is something we should avoid saying to women.

I don’t think we should stop complimenting women on their appearance. I mean—you all have seen my fashion shots in my fave outfits on Instagram and you better believe I cherish those “you look beautiful!” compliments. But, I do think we should pause to consider all of the ways we as women are beautiful.

So, I want us to pause for a moment and forget about appearance. In this moment, a beautiful appearance doesn’t exist. 

If you don’t have a beautiful appearance, what else about you is beautiful that draws others in?

What other beautiful thing about yourself do you love? 

woman in field painting; beautiful black woman

Here’s a list of some of the things you might find beautiful.

Your:

  • Values
  • Courage
  • Sense of humor
  • Kindness
  • Perseverance
  • Laughter
  • Ability to listen
  • Positive attitude
  • Empathy and compassion
  • Consistency
  • Spontaneity
  • Faith
  • Spirituality
  • Grace
  • Determination
  • Thoughtfulness
  • Passion
  • Commitment
  • Advocacy
  • Leadership abilities
  • Strength
  • Ability to Overcome Failure
  • Assertiveness
  • Perception
  • Creativity 
  • Maturity
  • Trustworthiness
  • Motivation
  • Initiative
  • Sensitivity
  • Resourcefulness
  • Frugalness
  • Work Ethic
  • Open-mindedness
  • Efficiency
  • Punctuality
  • Friendliness
  • Strength
  • Love of books, cars, architecture, design babies, animals, etc
  • Knowledge
  • Expertise
  • Grit
  • Flexibility
  • Ability to forgive
  • Attention to Detail
  • Resilience

Make a list and start dismantling any belief that you aren’t beautiful with evidence of the ways that you are.

I wrote a caption on Instagram that talked about our beauty as women and it inspired this post. It said: 

“Women are beautiful. Our laughter, love, fierceness, and softness all shape the way we experience the wonders of the world. The way we show up and bow out; take credit and give credit—it’s beautiful. 

Our ability to cry out for injustice or cry at the ending of a movie. It’s all beautiful. We’re all beautiful. And it doesn’t matter what we look like or how we talk. It doesn’t matter who we were last year or what we struggled with yesterday. We house beauty. Embody, beauty. And when we move in close together, stand shoulder to shoulder, embrace one another and lock arms…we become a beautiful work of art.” 

I’d love to know…what from the list above or your own internal list is beautiful about you?

 

© 2020 Lani Bailey